'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
