you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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