you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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