Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
