AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
