In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
