so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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