i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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