OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wish my penis had a tongue
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
