Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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