You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
