Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
