I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
