saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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