Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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