Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
