We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My dad is sitting where you rode me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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