he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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