Fuck appropriateness.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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