Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Even my vagina gasped.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
