I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
