it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
