Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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