don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
