I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
