it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
