For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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