using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
