It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
