We're like a lot better than the average bears
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
