just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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