Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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