Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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