she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
