Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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