Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
