He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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