Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
