clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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