DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
