dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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