I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
