I cockslap morals
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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