Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
