I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
