He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
