I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
