Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
