I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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