She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
