It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
