i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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