It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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