people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
