did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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