he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
