Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
